dreaming of a lighthouse

Have you ever seen a lighthouse, up close and personal?

I heard there are a few of the old lighthouses from the Spanish era along the coast of Ilocos. It would be an interesting trip to see these structures, at least for me. I don't exactly know when it started but I had a fascination for the lighthouse. I think I was pregnant then with my son, when I had a really nice dream about it. I don't remember much of the details but I do remember the lighthouse. It resembled those I saw in a website for Nantucket, USA. I think somewhere in New England (Connecticut or Maine, I really don't know exactly.) I was just drawn to it. I couldn't get it out of my mind for the next couple of days. I even asked my sister to bring me a postcard or poster of a lighthouse when she comes home from London (that December, 2001). And as if the universe was really conspiring with my thoughts, it seemed I see them everywhere.

In the restaurant (Burgoo), there were posters of lighthouses hanging in the walls! In one of my visits to a bookstore (Books for Less), I even saw an amazing book about the old-fashioned lighthouses. I would have bought it but it was just too expensive (even though the book was old and second-hand). I even bought a lighthouse-shaped candle from one of the shops at SM. I even contemplated of taking pictures of all the lighthouses in the Philippines. Talk about obsessive.

I tried to write my thoughts about it. I was wondering about the connection of the lighthouse to my present state (pregnant, i.e.). And I thought the lighthouse is there to help out the navigators/captains of ships/boats so that they won't get into trouble, right? So is it a symbol of strength? For they are imposing, figures, right? Is it a symbol of my need? A navigation system for my life? For the dream came to me at a time when I was in a transition - from being single to becoming a wife and a mom. (A friend made a comment that maybe, it has sexual connotations. Is it a phallic symbol? Could be. Honestly, I'm clueless as to its connection to sex or sexuality.)

Then, I saw this book "To the Lighthouse" by Virginia Woolf at Fully Booked in Rockwell. I grabbed and bought it impulsively and instantly. Didn't care how much it cost. At that time, I knew so little about Virginia Woolf, but I think it was no coincidence that the book I'm now in possession is the story that critics in the literary circles are calling her masterpiece. When I started reading it, I was so overwhelmed by the power of her words. Marami siyang sinasabi. Her sentences are soooo long. At first, I couldn't understand it. Then the excellent Stephen Daldry film The Hours came out, which was based on Michael Cunningham's novel. It was then that I started reading up on Virginia's life and works. And I began to understand why "To the Lighthouse" was written that way.

She wrote about everything, even the innermost thoughts of her characters (they call it stream of consciousness). Eh di ba, tayo pag may kausap, madalas meron tayong iniisip na hindi naman natin sinasabi. Pati yun sinulat ni Virginia.

Anyway, I haven't finished reading "To the Lighthouse" (have you ever felt this way about a really good book or movie, that you don't want to move forward sometimes because you don't want it to end?) But it is in my list of things to do. (And more on Virginia on my next posts.)

Well, I think the point of all this blabbering is that one subconscious thought could lead to another discovery or adventure. (Lighthouse - Batanes - Adventure; Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf - The Hours - Mrs Dalloway, etc...) You'll be amazed where your dreams may lead you!

And about the lighthouses: I still love them , but I'm not obsessing over them anymore. My dream now would be to go Ilocos or Batanes just to see one or two, just for kicks. And that would be a dream come true indeed! :)

(Note: Photo Source: www.trekearth.com)